‘Dickens presents Scrooge using a variety of similes, metaphors and personification.’
Does any other English teacher absolutely despise the word
‘variety’? It’s supposed to be a banned word in my classroom when students are
producing a piece of analysis and yet, annoyingly, it still manages to crop up
in an essay somewhere, usually in the very first sentence.
‘Macbeth is
presented in a variety of ways.’
Examiners probably aren’t meant to make a snap judgement
about a student after reading their first sentence yet it’s difficult not to do
so. When asked why students insist on starting essays in this manner (even when
I’ve told them not to), I usually get a reply of ‘we just need a way to start,
sir.’ It’s a little demoralising, isn’t it? I know I’ve never taught my
students to write like this and yet they’ve picked it up from somewhere and
refuse to try and kick the habit. This was such a problem that it got to the
point where I told my students not to write an introduction but to go straight
in to their first point. I’m always a little self-conscious when addressing
weaknesses in my teaching, not because I don’t believe there are any, but
because I worry I’m the only one with that issue. I’m an English teacher and
yet I struggle writing and teaching introductions? It’s almost laughable. But
after reading, ‘the writer uses a variety of language devices to interest the
reader and make them want to read on’ again and again, one knows it’s time to
diagnose and fix the problem.
The diagnosis is simple. Students don’t know the true purpose
of an introduction. What should it include and why should it include it? At its
most basic level, I believe an introduction should answer the question and
explain and discuss authorial intent, yet when I taught this to students I was
still receiving general, unfocused statements that didn’t start an answer with
the required impact needed to secure marks. Having read Susan Strachan’s
excellent blog on introductions and after attending the ‘Securing grades 7-9’
breakout session at the PiXL English conference, I changed my approach which I
have detailed below. I hope it is of some use to those who may be experiencing
the same issues I had.
Writing
introductions
I really like the idea that an introduction should contain
the following ‘non-negotiables’ which were shared at the PiXL conference last
summer by Harriet Morgan. I like these because if a student uses them, they are demonstrating to
the examiner that they have a solid understanding of the text, the author and
the issues they explore. They also allow what follows in the main body of an
essay to be clear, concise and focused.
Genre: a category of literature, Viewpoint: who is telling the
story? Whose perspective do we see events from? Structure: how has the text been put together? AO3: social and historical context
Intention: what is the writer trying to achieve with their text? Anchor to question: Refer to
the question. Make a point that answers it.
Some of
these can be covered using a single word while others require more explanation.
My advice would be to tell students that there is no specific order to these
‘non-negotiables’. As you will see from the examples below, these components
can be approached in any order depending on what is appropriate. Here’s one
example I provided my class for ‘Macbeth’. We read through the introduction
before I asked students to identify the different 'non-negotiables' so they knew
what each one looked like in context.
Starting
with this speech, explore how Shakespeare presents ambition in ‘Macbeth’.
‘Macbeth’, William
Shakespeare’s eponymous tragedy, portrays ambition as dangerous with
devastating consequences. In the play, Shakespeare aims to warn people against pursuing ambition. Ambition leads to Macbeth’s tragedy because of his
hamartia, (a fatal flaw) which drives him to
commit an unimaginable sin for power which ends up being weak, self-defeating
and ephemeral. In Shakespeare’s time,
ambition was contrary to the Natural Order which dictated one’s place in the
world and was not to be challenged. In other words, ambition was contrary to
the will of God.
The colour
coding here mirrors the general consensus of what students found although they
did mention there were areas of cross over in this example, particularly
between ‘structure’ and ‘anchor to question’. As a side note, revising introductions
only requires the question students are being asked to complete. Some in my class
asked for the extract but I decided to withhold it so that their introductions
were solely concerned with the focus of the question and the play as a whole rather
than the section of text provided by AQA.
We then
wrote one together as a class on the board. (‘Starting with this extract, explore how Shakespeare presents the
relationship between Macbeth and Lady Macbeth’) Modelling is a hugely
powerful tool, allowing one to expose the thinking process to students. I used
to jump straight to the modelling stage but have recently moved to the ‘I do’,
‘we do’, ‘you do’ method. Lots will criticise me for giving students a
pre-planned example and there are good reasons for that, but I think in this
case there’s impact behind giving a class an extract of an answer beforehand. I
want them to see what they’re aiming for before I then model and we work on one
together.
After that,
I gave students a third question and asked them to write their introductions
independently. (In one lesson we covered three questions exploring very
different areas of the same text, an easy way to revise!) Here’s an answer one
student wrote:
Starting with this extract, explore
how Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth’s desire for power.
‘Macbeth’, William Shakespeare’s eponymous tragedy,
portrays Lady Macbeth’s desire for power as obsessive, manipulative and
uncontrollable. Throughout his play, Shakespeare intends to show the consequences of someone who
seeks more than the conventional attributes of 11th and 17th
century women. In a patriarchal society,
male figures had complete authority and power; the qualities of Lady
Macbeth reside more with masculine expectations instead of typical feminine
stereotypes.
As you can
see, this student has included all of the ‘non-negotiables’. There is still
some work to do here, but I feel I’ve finally cracked the issue of ‘a variety
of ways’ and we will continue to practise with different themes, characters and
texts. My cynicism around introductions is now a thing of the past and only
existed because I hadn’t found a way to teach them very well.
Here are
some other examples of student introductions for an ‘An Inspector Calls’ mock
question. The issue with these is their length. In her blog, Susan Strachan
says introductions should be short and I agree. Even the students were
concerned with the length their introductions were becoming and so I had to
remind them it is all part of a process of improvement. Once students are
secure with what goes in an introduction, they can focus on how concise they
are being. Perhaps a follow up activity could be to rewrite what they have
produced in fewer words so they concentrate on making their argument clear and
coherent. There are some colloquialisms present in these but I definitely think
we are on the right path. As you will also see, they all begin in the same way.
Students asked if they could learn and use my sentence starter and I agreed.
After all, it ticks off two of the non-negotiables in one fell swoop!
STUDENT
ANSWERS:
How does
Priestley use the character of the Inspector to suggest ways that society could
be improved?
STUDENT 1:
‘An
Inspector Calls’, J.B Priestley’s ‘well-made play’ explores how individual
actions can have great consequences on the masses of society. Priestley uses
the Inspector throughout his play as a representation of the law, perhaps not
just to question the Birlings from a legal point of view, but also intending to
allow each of the Birlings to discover their own moral compasses, just as
society must to become an equal and fair place for all. In Edwardian society,
the notion of equality may have been dismissed by the upper classes determined
to preserve their way of life. The Inspector acts as a cataclysmic wrecking
ball to views which do not prioritise equality and the improvement of society.
How does
Priestley present different ideas about morality in ‘An Inspector Calls’?
STUDENT 2:
‘An
Inspector Calls’, J.B Priestley’s ‘well-made play’ explores the changing nature
of morality and how the perception of what is right and wrong depends on the
personal beliefs of the individual. Priestley wants to show the audience that
morality is something to be embraced and accepted by society because it is the
backbone of humanity. Through the conflict between the Inspector and Birling,
Priestley pits two opposite sides of morality against each, a microcosm for the
clash between socialism and capitalism. In Edwardian society, the ideology of socialism
was gaining traction in the shadow of a corrupt, capitalist state and thus
Priestley intertwines morality within socialism.
STUDENT 3:
J.B
Priestley’s well-made play, ‘An Inspector Calls’ presents different ideas about
morality and how this fluctuates between different social classes. Priestley
aims to enforce a collective community with one ideology of right and wrong
that is in favour of socialist views. The Inspector acts as Priestley’s
mouthpiece; he focuses on breaking down naïve, narrow, capitalist thoughts
about morality, represented by the microcosmic Birlings.
Integrating
AO3
I’ve used a similar process to help students integrate AO3
into the main body of their answer. This is something I’ve always struggled
with. I’m confident my students have the knowledge needed to access their AO3
marks, yet looking back at my teaching, I’ve been ineffective at helping them
to integrate this seamlessly. They always end up ‘bolting on’ AO3 at the end of
a paragraph with such sweeping statements that are just plain false. ‘All women
were forced to cook and clean in the kitchen during these times’ is a phrase I just
know I’ll see if a question on Lady Macbeth comes up. When AO3 becomes an
after-thought, so do the specifics of historical context and generalisations
that border on the comedic emerge. One area of success I’ve had with
integrating AO3 is by placing it in the introduction, as you can see further up
this post, but I was concerned this wouldn’t be enough to pick up on all the
marks available. Here’s a quick overview of how I’ve begun to approach the
application of context in my classroom:
I asked students to consider the extract from an answer to
the following question: How does
Priestley present ideas about unfairness in society in ‘An Inspector Calls’?
Another character who
represents the unfairness that is rife in society is Eva Smith. Although she
does not appear physically in the play, Eva’s death is what drives the play
towards its climax. She is a product of an upper class that shuns
responsibility and is left to fend for herself in a cruel and harsh world. The
lack of sympathy and empathy directed towards her is highlighted when Mrs
Birling refers to her as a girl ‘of that class’. Priestley deliberately has Mrs
Birling use the determiner ‘that’ to present an element of disgust. She cannot
bear to reference the lower classes and so uses ‘that’ to show how dismissive
she is being. In doing this, Eva is presented as inferior and alien, perhaps
angering an audience and highlighting the unfairness of society. Referring to
lower class young women collectively as ‘girls’ strips them of their identity.
They are not worthy of a name and are soon forgotten. As a member of the upper
class, Mrs Birling can not only ignore Eva, but make her weaker by turning her
back on her plight and the conventions of society allow her to do this. At
the time the play is set, women did not have many rights, especially those in
the lower classes. There were no benefits so women like Eva would have no one
to turn to.
After asking
students to identify where this candidate (me!) had met the assessment
objectives, I told them that an examiner marking this would probably say AO3
was the weakest element. When I asked them why, a lot of them said that there
wasn’t enough detail (technically true) but that was it. My criticism of the
above answer is that AO3 has been ‘bolted on’ at the end, isn’t specific enough
and doesn’t demonstrate a true understanding of the context. It’s easy to
mention that society was patriarchal at this time, but AO3 isn’t just about
buzz words. I really feel AO3 reflects a student’s understanding of a text and
exposes a student (possibly even more so than AO2) if they’re not very
confident; it’s obvious if a student doesn’t know what they should. After we
had this discussion, I gave them the same answer with minor differences, asking
them to highlight AO3 only:
Another character who
represents the unfairness that is rife in society is Eva Smith. Although she
does not appear physically in the play, Eva’s death, caused by the injustices allowed by British society’s strict class
system, is what drives the play towards its climax. She is a product of
an upper class that shuns responsibility and is left to fend for herself in a
cruel and harsh world where rights for women were
non-existent. The lack of sympathy and empathy directed towards her is
highlighted when Mrs Birling refers to her as a girl ‘of that class’. Priestley
deliberately has Mrs Birling use the determiner ‘that’ to present an element of
disgust. She cannot bear to reference the lower classes and so uses ‘that’ to
show how dismissive she is being of a woman who is forced to turn to charity
for help because Britain was not a welfare state at
this time. In doing this, Eva is presented as inferior and alien,
perhaps angering an audience and highlights the unfairness of society.
Referring to lower class young women collectively as ‘girls’ strips them of
their identity. They are not worthy of a name and are soon forgotten. As a
member of the upper class, Mrs Birling can not only ignore Eva, but make her
weaker by turning her back on her plight and the
conventions of society allow her to do this.
I asked the students how this paragraph compared to the
first, expecting them to pick up on the fact that most of AO3 has been
integrated into the answer through subordinate clauses. I was surprised
that they also picked up on the fact that by integrating AO3 this way, the
points are not only more specific but demonstrate an understanding of how the
context has influenced Priestley and his writing; context points are paired
with specific events that occur in the text.
I then gave students another question (How does
Priestley present ideas about attitudes towards women in ‘An Inspector Calls’?) which we
worked on together as a class, paying particular attention to where we were
placing AO3. Finally, I gave students a third question (How does Priestley present Mr Birling in ‘An Inspector Calls’?) which they had to answer on their
own. My choice of questions is deliberate. It allows students to revise a range
of social and historical context points whilst avoiding repetition.
Through this method, I’m now much more confident with how my
students talk about context. They’re not just making generalisations but
carefully considering these social and historical events, the role they play in
the text and how and why writers use this history as a backdrop for their
stories.
All the resources I used to help students with introductions
and AO3 can be found here.